Contemplation, The Second Pillar

I find it so terribly hard to be quiet. I don't me to not speak, though for me that is also a true statement. I mean to be in a place where my mind is free of WORDS. The words of shopping-for-groceries, why-didn't-I-read-that-book words, or the resonance of I-can't-do-that. Somehow, I manage, when I try to focus, to compile a list of everything I think I should be doing instead of trying to be quiet and centering on the presence of God within me.

Matthew Kelly asks,

Why do you suppose God called so many shepherds to occupy positions of authority and influence? Perhaps it was because they were out in the middle of God's cosmic temple all day, and in the middle of God's cosmic Classroom of Silence they had plenty of time to think, reflect, ponder, and listen to the voice of God in their lives. (Rediscovering Catholicism, pg 181)

I'm always busy thinking about my life. I can't seem to block it out. I've tried centering prayers, prayers for meditation to start my contemplation or used soft music to settle my mind. I have often thought I have Spiritual ADD (attention deficit disorder). I can't stay prayer-focused.

Matthew says to start with ten minutes a day.

If you are confused, angry, tired, frustrated, happy, excited, grateful...come to the silence...[A]sk yourself, "When will I spend my ten minutes in the Classroom of Silence today?" Don't be deceived by the simplicity of this message. You will be amazed how much ten minutes each day in a quiet church can change your life. (pp. 183-184)

Though I cannot sit each day in a quiet church, I will commit to sitting in a quiet room each day for ten minutes. God is everywhere and ten minutes can be found. I'll find them.

Finally, Matthew said to me in this text,

If we wish to encourage today's saints to emerge, we must simply return one question to our inner dialogue, I call it The Big Question. As far as I can see, it is the ultimate question, the only question.

"God, what do you think I should do?"

Well, there's the rub. Do I really want to know what God thinks I should do? What if it's not what I want to do...Hum! The reason for contemplation. God and Me discussing it!

~~~^j^~~~